After Santa tells Michael Bolton that he needs 75,000 new babies by Christmas to meet toy supply, Michael Bolton hosts a sexy telethon to get the world to start making love.

Sammy Lagucci is a lovable loser who just wants to do right by his daughter. When he finds out the gangsters he runs with are planning to take him out, he enters the Witness Protection program to protect himself and his family. Going from The Big Apple to a small town in Wisconsin gets him down at first, but on a dare he does an impromptu stand-up comedy routine and finds he has a knack for it. His act goes viral, and what should be a blessing turns into a curse when his newfound fame gets the attention of the mob.

This is a story about a sports broadcaster later turned morning talk show host Danny Tanner and his three little girls, D.J. (Donna Jo), Stephanie and Michelle Tanner. Before the show begins, Danny Tanner's wife is killed by a drunk driver. So he needs help raising his three little girls. He asks his rock musician brother-in-law, Jesse Katsopolis, and his comedian best friend, Joey Gladstone, to move in with them. As the show goes on, Jesse gets married to Rebecca Donaldson, Danny's co host of the talk show. The two have kids of their own, who are twins, Alexander and Nicholas Katsopolis. However, the show is about what happens as the story is going on.

One day in New York City, as Jane Ryan tries out for an overseas college program and her sister Roxy schemes to meet her favorite punk rockers, a series of mishaps throws their day into chaos. In order for them both to accomplish their goals, the normally adversarial sisters decide to unite against the forces around them.

In this spoof of "March of the Penguins," nature footage of penguins near the South Pole gets a soundtrack of human voices. Carl and Jimmy, best friends, walk 70 miles to the mating grounds where the female penguins wait. The huddled masses of females - especially Melissa and Vicki - talk about males, mating, and what might happen this year. Carl, Jimmy, and the other males make the long trek talking about food, fornication and flatulence. Until this year, Carl's sex life has been dismal, but he falls hard for Melissa. She seems to like him. A crisis develops when Jimmy comes upon something soft in the dark. Can friends forgive? Does parenthood await Carl and Melissa?